Home Appliance Tip 1

If you leave your wallet in the freazer. Your assests are probally frozen.

Life Tip 3

In Jujubes veritas.

Home Buying Tip 3

Try not to be Homeless. We can all use Holmes in our lives.

Health Tip 1

Recently I've discovered in my dorm some ancient civilization has installed stalls with apparatuses to dispense water from overhead. If you remove your clothes, stand under these devices, and apply soap one can become considerably cleaner than before.

Drug Safety Tip 1

Get Hooked on fishing not drugs.

Personal Note

Readers,

You will no doubt notice I have moved from Port au Prince, to Bangkok. I needed a little me time, a little Zenas time.

Manfredd Mann Tip 1

"We walked on to my door, we walked on to my door then we kissed a little more woah I knew we was falling in love."

Metrocard Tip 1

If you see something say something.

By modus tolens

If you see nothing say nothing.

Education Tip 2

A good riverboat captian is hard to find. So if you worked hard this would be a good job to have and you could help to grow this young fertile nation.

Drunk Dial Tip 1

If you call Gary Sinise his answering machine will probally be, "Hey it's Gary leave a message."

Leave a message, you don't want to upset Gary.

Life Tip 2

Billy will be with you. Always.

Style Tip 7

Q: Sweatbands
A:You can't be serious.
If your a 70s tennis star a must but with short shorts. Most other people can't pull them off, unless of course they're a Dance and Economics double major, straight up.

Safety Tip 3

Don't go to Bangkok.

Safety Tip 2

Singapore is NOT the Place to committ crimes. For this go to nerby Bangkok.

Style Tip 6

Plastic Surgery?

Avoid if possible. If you must stick to the basics--bigger smaller ect. Getting crazy and asking for a third arm or second nose while potentially sweet could go really really wrong.

Social Tip 3

Antarctica could have crazy clubs. You could party all night. And by all night I mean June through September, the drinks would always be chilled, and the penguines well dressed. Though the thumping bass might open up cracks in the ice. One other problem is where you would find bouncers that would work for you because I think penguines could get roudy.

Archecture Tip 1

Robert A.M. Stern is a great architect. Here is a building he did at Taft.



and he has a cool name. I espically wonder what his middle initals stand for. A and M you are a mysterys to me.

P.S. Bob if your reading this a cool buidling would be one shaped like a LAMB.

Life Tip 1

Milton will be with you. Always.

Style Tip 5

Wearing patent leather shoes as the CEO of a major patent holding corporation is a bit over the top.

Education Tip 1

One reason to go to med school would be this funny joke. If you were meeting with a patient and they were like,
"I'm having toe pain,"
You could say,
"Well amputation is always an option,"
and they would belive you because your a doctor.

Home Buying Tip 3

Large fertilizer tanks and emptry Sudafed packects strewn about, means your potential new neghibor probally loves to garden but has chronic head colds.

Home Buying Tip 2

When looking at a new house remember that ceiling fans belong on the ceiling. If they are on the floor, the house is more likely than not in serious disrepair.

Social Tip 2

Calling for a nudie run at White House state dinners is usually not appropriate. Nudie Runs in college with a mask of any president are generally appropriate. A nudie run with a Jackson mask will be certain to rouse lively debate on campus--proving Old Hickory lives on.

Safety Tip 1

When you wake up drugged and left for dead in Karachi, avoid getting caught in tight fitting clothes, such fashions are prohibited by Islamic law. Rumor has it though the Pacs are crazy about men's field hockey, so before heading home consider catching a game.

Social Tip 1

If your at a cocktail party with Ralph Nader, don't feel obligated to tell him about the time you stuck your finger in a poorly designed toaster, instead for conservation stick to the weather. Avoid failed Presidential campaigns at all costs.

Home Buying Tip 1

If somebody looking to buy your house wants to pay in cash they are likely either a drug dealer, or an Iranian playboy. To distinguish which a prospective buyer is simply ask "Are you an Iranian Playboy?" in Farsi. If their name is Bijon no such interrogation is nesscary.

Style Tip 4

Suspenders

If your an investment banker suspenders are a must. If your a trucker they are optional but should be clip-on and worn with a belt. Truck and gun makers are the prefferable theme for truckers--dollars signs and skull & cross bones for iBankers.

Style Tip 3

If you try to make out with somebody with two middle names. They should probally have a cashmere sweater on.

Style Tip 2

When in Pyongyang at Kim Il Sum U, the whole walking around with the little red book in the back left pocket of your american jeans is so overdone. Avoid this look. Also if you are a U.S. Citizen avoid travel to North Korea in general as it is prohibited by the U.S. State Dep. and Federal Law.

Style Tip 1

Q: Penny Loafers?

A: A must and with a penny because you belive in the Quantity Theory of Money.